wierd stuff happens at uic gym too, not just ballys

spotted yesterday:
--girl in jeans, blouse, in BARE FEET, jogging on the treadmill
--another girl in the street clothes, carrying her backpack around, walking on the treadmill

buy proper workout clothes, please!

my final ballys post

my membership to ballys is officially cancelled as of today. sorry, no more random ballys rants or creepy locker room stories. you'll just have to hold yourself over with the old posts (click the ballys tag on the left sidebar, duh!) until something weird happens to me at the uic gym

why do you even belong to a gym??

i'm talking to you, old man in dress shoes, khakis, and a white t: stop pacing around the gym like the haters gonna hate .gif (it is posted HERE i tried to figure out how to upload a .gif and it was like 14 steps so i was like ughhh whatever). you can do that in the comfort of your own home! and yes, i am well aware of the irony of using that .gif to explain how the dude was walking. i fully admit that i am being a hater and i'm gonna hate, dammit!
...although i do love him for the fact that after 10 minutes of pacing, he walked to the mirror and admired his midsection, pulled his pants out subway-jared style to see if he lost any inches in his INTENSE workout. because sometimes...you just wish you could see instant results!

closely related to this guy is not as old but still pretty old man in socks and sandals doing what i can only describe as a swatting flies away from your body on a hot day exercise type deal. while his wife lays on the ground next to him maniacally doing crunches with the worst form but most extreme dedication i've ever seen. she also did some bicep curls with 3lb weights and was swinging them all over the place. that's not how it works. you're just going to hurt yourself.

i'm also talking to you, girl in victoria's secret brand PINK sweatpants, tank top, and baseball cap. with your hair down. stop strolling on the treadmill for 30 min at speed 4.6, then doing weights (and when i say weights, i mean 5lbs) for 3 minutes and leaving. just go out and buy some weights, if you're only going to use them for that short of a period of time! 5lb weights cost like, 9 dollars. a gym membership is 30 a month. your workout makes no financial sense.

and finally...to EVERYONE that lounges in the pool area on the lounge chairs: IT IS AN INDOOR POOL AND THERE IS NO SUN WHY ARE YOU NAPPING ON LOUNGE CHAIRS LIKE YOU ARE GETTING A TAN OR SOMETHING?????? this infuriates me for some reason. don't these people have anything better to do than sleep on a nasty old lounge chair in a dimly lit gym pool?

ughhhh i don't know why people that don't know what they are doing in gyms gets me so annoyed but it's seriously one of my biggest pet peeves. can you tell??

it's been a while since i've done a ballys post

things have been shockingly normal lately (although i have mostly been showering at home over the summer, due to the fact that the ac is out in the buick again and i get my sweat on just driving in that hot mess). kinda freaking me out... stay tuned. i'm sure this peace won't last long.

however, i will say this: i have seen more unfortunate slash AWESOME floral printed, high waisted, spandex biker shorts than i ever thought was humanly possibly outside of the 1980s. so there's that.

[creative title re: the weirdness at ballys]

at this point, i'm more astonished that i'm still surprised by the randomness that goes on in this gym than what i actually witness.

this one is interesting because it didn't actually occur IN the gym, but right outside of it. i was on the second floor doing abs and stretching by some windows when i noticed someone outside doing the same thing. yes, outside. on a small patch of grass separating the parking lot from the 4 lane street. some middle aged asian man wearing jeans and a tucked in t-shirt was legit stretching. i watched him for 15 minutes.

whyyyyyyyyyyyyy. did he workout, shower, change, then decide he wasn't stretched out enough, so he stood by his car and stretched instead of just going home and doing it? did he drive there just to stretch and creep in the windows? i just don't get the logic behind these strange actions. help?

also, it's times like these that i realllly wish i didn't lose my phone (and have it replaced with a shitty one) so i could have videotaped him. that's legal, right?

realllyy?!??!/!???!?!?!

bally's edition.

+ really, you need that FULL THROTTLE energy drink, which has approximately 3942 calories and 904 grams of sugar to get you through a 15 min stroll on the treadmill, speed 1.9, incline 0? REALLY?!?!

+ so you spend an hour at the gym lifting, pushing, pulling, twisting, moving, etc... but when it comes time to carry your 2 lb gym bag out of the gym, you have to wheel it out. REALLY!? a rolley backpack?! and then you have to mosey all zig zagged in front of me, the entiiiire way out of the locker room and gym. REALLY??!?

+ and finally, was that phone call really that important, that you had to take it immediately after getting out of the shower, and then proceed to air dry your lady-bits whilst lounging on the mirrored counter, legs at a 90 degree angle? REALLY?!? and then did you need to continue to chat for 10 minutes about pointless drivel ??



REALLY BALLYS?!?!??!?!??!?!


ha this is a good one. i miss amy on snl

my sister's bally's experience

christina posted this in the comments of my last bally's post, but i'm reposting it here so you all can see that it's not just me experiencing weird situations at ballys

smina said...
im actually in this one!!! i was gonna comment on some random ballys post but since i was included here ill tell my story. ya i hate those annoying people in that room that i stretch in..its like the creep part of the gym. these old men always stare at me and ask if i can do the splits or say some weird comment about how flexible i am. one guy went so far as to tell me he used to take ballet classes and showed me his moves..and then asked me what school i went to and i was so scared that i told him it was far away..but then he saw the name on my shirt and said he worked at the dominicks near it. ewwwww

100th post!

can't believe i've kept up this blog this long! a few random thoughts from my workout today...

1. this song came on my shuffle right when i was getting super tired of stairmaster-ing and totally motivated me to keep going. (also, amazing music video)



2. another song that came on was the mashup "once again" by girl talk, which includes part of the song "wait" (the wait til you see my dick song) set over "bittersweet symphony" and that part never fails to make me giggle. sounds so important, or epic, or something... love it




3. WHYYYYYYY do people come and lay down a mat to stretch/do abs/lay on the floor and take a 5 minute nap literally 3 inches from all my shit? can't you tell i have all my weights, mat, step, bosu, etc. laid out in a very nice manner around me and that i need that space?

i was standing on the upside down bosu doing bicep curls and my left weight was legit hovering over her face. if i accidentally dropped it or fell off the bosu, she would be smashed. i would like to note that the area i was in was not particularly crowded. she could have easily moved 2 feet away from me and not have been in anybody else's way. i just don't understand the reasoning behind people that do this.

also, when she was stretching, her leg was touching into my bosu ball, effectively stabilizing it. not only is this annoying, but it is also making my workout easier! not cool lady! move oooverrrr. after about 8 minutes of swearing at her in my head, i kicked all my stuff a few feet away from her and gave her a dirty look. i don't think she got the point.

4. is it just me, or is it completely unacceptable to fart, loudly spit phlegm, and blow your nose when you are in a community shower and the water is all running into a community drain? especially if you are next to me, and that water has to pass by my shower on the way to the drain.

that's it for now. my sister recently joined bally's and has had a few interesting experiences of her own. i'm trying to get her to guest blog about them; they are pretty hilarious/creepy.

wtf ballys

so ballys, like most gyms, plays music over the loudspeakers. i occasionally listen to it if a good song comes on (they show the music videos on tvs in front of gym)

while i was walking into the gym, a ballys employee skipped a modest mouse song. and i was like hey, i kinda liked that modest mouse song but i guess its a little out there for ballys. and kept going on with my life. THEN as i was finishing up in the locker room after my workout, a gorillaz song came on and i was like helll yessss finally some good music! but then THEY SKIPPED IT! FOR A HEIDI MONTAG SONG.


...what is happening in this world??!?!??!?!

well, it could be worse

i was listening to the q101 in the car this morning, where they were discussing a topic i am too familiar with: strange occurrences in gym locker rooms. the djs were all dudes, and were talking about the most outrageous things they have witnessed. apparently, a lot of gay stuff goes down in men's locker rooms? saunas in particular? one of the djs was saying how he walked into the sauna once and saw one dude 'ski poling' two other dudes (i'll let you figure that one out on your own). another dj said he saw two guys get kicked out of the club for having sex in a closet. a ton of (male) callers were confirming stories similar to these. i wish i had time to call in and talk about my experiences, but i think that would have been a little awkward for everybody waiting for the train with me.

what i'm getting at here, is that it could be a lot worse in the bally's women's locker room.

luckily (unluckily to you people that enjoy my ordeals), the locker room has been fairly tame in this new year. i expect this is due to the fact that the gym is temporarily full of new members, almost all of them younger than the usual 55+ crowd.

also, i can't wait until all these new members stop keeping up with their new years resolutions so that i can actually work out without being nervous that i'm going to hit someone in the mouth when i do lateral raises. it's seriously that crowded everywhere. also, i had to park in the mall parking lot and walk about 2 blocks to get to the gym. not cool when its freakin 5 degrees out. we both know that you are going to give up in a few weeks anyways, so why don't you just save us both the trouble and stay at home so i can work out in peace?

(i'm kidding. good luck on your new years resolutions!)

(i'm not kidding. get out of my gym)

4days4days4days4days4days

how cute!!!!!!!!!

trying really hard to focus on studying but i'm in winter break mode! not good! i still have 2 finals!

anyways, i've been thinking about quitting bally's--the locker room is just getting a little too ridiculous! haha but that's not really the reason. i realized that i'm only going 1-2 times a week, which equals 8 times a month, at MOST. at $30 bucks a month for membership... i just really don't think it's worth it to be paying $4 a workout, especially with the new year's resolution months approaching (i cannot STAND crowded gyms) plus, i have a bunch of workout dvds at home, and ondemand from comcast has a ton of free workouts! i just did 'jillian michaels no more trouble zones' and it was fantastic! i'm really getting into circuit strength training lately--its like cardio and weights in one! woo. great for me because i hate cardio! sooo boring. although i recently stumbeled upon a blog dedicated to running, and being able to run a marathon would be pretty cool. maybe i will convince my parents to buy a treadmill (my mom has been talking about buying some sort of exercise equipment lately...)and i can start training!

so yes, that is my random post as i procrastinate studying. 4 more days until FREEDOM!

the chronicles of ballys

thursday night at the gym, i witnessed the following shenanigans:

-large, 50+ year old man fell asleep on the bike next to me
-naked woman in the locker room yelling in russian on her cell phone for 5 minutes
-ridiculously old asian lady drying her entire naked body under the hand dryers
-bro wearing a shirt with arm holes so big they literally were not even connected anymore. the shirt was just a towel with a neck hole

also, lots of people that didn't know what they were doing and getting in my way. NOT looking forward to jan-march, when people have new years resolutions and are all up in my space!

WTF BALLYS!!!!!!!!

ok, this is getting out of hand. last night, i was in a shower stall, minding my own business, leaning over shaving my legs...and all of a sudden, the curtain is ripped open and a random asian lady is standing there, saying something about a key that she left in there. NOT OKAY! is there no value of personal space in the asian culture? because i really don't understand how anyone can think it is okay to just go around surprise-exposing people in public bathrooms. she could have either waited 2 minutes for me to leave to search for her shit or just stuck her hand in or something...it was really unnecessary and kind of terrifying to have the curtain flung completely open. if something like this does happen again, i am for sure quitting. the only sucky part is that i paid first and last month up front, so even when i do decide to drop my membership, i still have a month of paid membership.

SERIOUSLY THOUGH....WTF

ballys in vernon hills: officially on notice

lindsay texted me this a few nights ago...

"i just saw some old asian douching or something at ballys"

.................WTF IS WRONG WITH THESE OLD ASIAN LADIES THAT DO THIS SHIT?!?!?!?! and i'm not being racist or stereotypical or anything, it is just always the oldest, asian-est women doing weird, naked things in the locker room inches away from my locker. not cool.

i swear, if this happens to me 13 or 14 more times...i'm outta there

(BASEketball reference anyone?)

pet peeve

why do old (as in, over 60), asian ladies loooooooooove to hang around the gym locker room completely naked?? i understand not wearing clothes temporarily when getting changed, adjusting your towel, or getting in/out of the shower...but it is completely unnecessary to blow dry your hair, put on make up, and bend over right in front of the mirror to put on lotion. there are changing rooms for a reason! i dont need to see your saggy bits all up in my face when im just trying to get in, throw my stuff in a locker, and get to my workout. uughhghhhhh