me: can i throw this spatula away? it is nasty and you've had it since college.
matt: no way! how could you do that! i love it! also, i am shocked you would even ask me that.
me: why's that?
matt: you tend to anthropomorphize things. i would've thought that you couldn't just throw 'him' away like that.
me: i don't do that to everything

(the next day)

me: where is your lunchbox? i'm doing a load of laundry and i'll throw it in.
matt: why?
me: he needs a bath
matt: ...